WOWZA.
The man knows how to write a headline, huh?
I saw the link to this opinion piece on CNN shared by one of my Facebook friends early Tuesday morning. By Tuesday afternoon I’d seen it at least 10 times. And by the time I got home from work, I was fired up enough to craft this LONG response.
Before I share my thoughts, a disclaimer.
I am NOT a parent. My basic philosophy when it comes to making plans for future parenting is that I don’t know what I don’t know. And it’s crazy to try and make rules for what I will and won’t do until I’m there, with the little eyes looking up at me.
Having said that…
The writer’s thesis is an interesting one. He muses on an airport experience, in which he saw an 8-year-old wearing sexy designer clothes, makeup and jewelry and generally showing off her body.
“Her beautiful, long blond hair was braided back a la Bo Derek in the movie “10″ (or for the younger set, Christina Aguilera during her “Xtina” phase). Her lips were pink and shiny from the gloss, and her earrings dangled playfully from her lobes.
You can tell she had been vacationing somewhere warm, because you could see her deep tan around her midriff thanks to the halter top and the tight sweatpants that rested just a little low on her waist. The icing on the cake? The word “Juicy” was written on her backside.”
Yeah, that 8-year-old girl was something to see alright. … I hope her parents are proud. Their daughter was the sexiest girl in the terminal, and she’s not even in middle school yet.”
His claim is that parents need to buckle down and set rules, even when it makes kids angry. That moms and dads need to let kids know about propriety, the importance of being protective of sexuality and facing down peer pressure. And behave accordingly themselves, too.
I agree. And, I don’t.
When I was a kid, I had a pretty progressive series of female role models. My mom worked full time, splitting chores and financial decisions with my father. I played sports, took part in theater, had boy and girl buddies and believed I could do anything I wanted to do in life. I wore jeans and sometimes skirts. Sometimes curled my hair and sometimes chopped it short.
Me at 8
I was taught that it’s OK to look your best. I was also taught about sex, how to have it safely, how to make it special and why my body is about much more than attracting people.
(Hello — when I would complain about my big hips, I was told that they’d be good for having babies, NOT that they’d look hot in miniskirts while dancing on the bar)
I know that my experience is not the one that all young girls had or currently have. Between Jersey Shore, Toddlers & Tiaras, The Real Housewives and even Teen Mom, I see examples of women being taught to trade on their bodies every day. While I enjoy watching those shows, I feel confident enough in myself to believe that WHO I am is much more important than HOW I dress. And I take the Hollywood portrayals for what they are. Portrayals. Not goals to meet.
Me at 21
And yet, I’m the same self-confident woman behind posts like “Get Your Sexy On,” “Why Pole Dancing is like Social Media” and “Au Natural is Au-Verrated.” The same girl who knows that a short skirt and sexy smile can get you good service at the bar. And the same girl who has no problem standing out in the crowd by wearing hot pink high heels. I dressed like a sexy schoolgirl for Halloween in college (ahem. see above) and also once attended a Pimps and Hos party in full costume.
And I turned out OK. It was an experiment — part of figuring out what sexuality and feminism means to ME.
So, while I agree that in many cases, we’re teaching girls sexuality at a much-too-young age, I also worry that we’re sexualizing something that just doesn’t need to be. Kids in bikinis don’t necessarily wear them to look sexy — they just want to splash around with friends. Little girls who dress up in mom’s clothes and carry lipstick around in their tiny purses aren’t trying to attract attention — they’re trying to be like mommy.
And when girls do start to play around with clothes, makeup and more, can’t we let them do it in a way that doesn’t cause them to judge themselves or question their own morals?
I have talked myself in and out of this opinion all day, and I felt so torn about this issue that I turned to Twitter and Facebook for their opinions, and really enjoyed reading through them:
My final thoughts:
As a future parent, I want my kids to know that however they dress, I love them. That it’s OK to play with clothes and makeup. And that it’s OK to experiment with all kinds of personalities while on the journey to discovering themselves.
As a future parent, I want to instill safety and security with my kids while giving them the self-esteem and confidence to know that sex and sex appear are sacred things. And that for better or for worse, we do judge people on what they wear and how they act.
As a future parent, I want to not only give MY kids the benefits of that journey, but be a part of helping young girls and boys across the world the confidence to safely experiment with their look.
Now I’d like to know how you feel. Do parents need to take a stand, or is this out of proportion?
About Katy
As someone without children yet, I think I agree it’s okay to play and experiment. BUT it’s vital to remember there’s a time and place for experimentation. It should always be appropriate for the situation and context.
I turned 13 just as Britney Spears was hitting it big with ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ and navel baring shirts were in. Bratz were still far in the future and the worst I can remember is my parents refusing to buy me my first thong in middle school. Besides the one thong incident (which I think was just an uncomfortable moment in time for my Dad) my parents were pretty hands off when it came to my clothing choices. They never told me I couldn’t wear this, I couldn’t wear that, or I wasn’t leaving the house until I changed. Granted, I never gave them a reason to. I was the slightly chubby middle schooler/ high schooler who preferred to have her stomach covered and I never was good (and am still awful) with applying make up. I like to remind my parents that I was a dream child. I never had any set rules, curfews, or a dress code, but I was always home at a decent time and made great grades. I was a goody goody.
What made me a goody goody? I like to think it was my parents. They were as hands on as they came. We spent nearly every weekend together as a family, my parents took all four of us on every vacation, they let us experience everything, and my mom and dad were my best friends. My Mom never wore (and still doesn’t) wear makeup, so when the time came for me to learn – I never did. I followed my Mom’s lead instead and took the au natural route. They never intentionally shielded us from stuff, but by staying involved and active in our lives we never had the chance to stray.
When I got to college I did go through my slightly wild phase of going to naughty school girl parties and fraternity parties, but nothing too wild. There was one incident that involved bras, a fountain, and ummm…. but that was crazy as it got. And I was 20 at the time, not 15.
I think good parenting has everything to do with the way kids come out. Hte author was spot on with that. But the line between telling our kids no and letting them figure things out on their own? That’s a fuzzy one.
I agree with on two points a) that this is representative of a further issue– in my opinion, that issue is largely the fact that parents are increasingly absent and b) your point about parents letting their kids have some freedom in their choices… but I only partially agree with you. It’s one thing to let your daughter wear your high heels and lipstick, it’s another when they start parading around in your or their (i’ve no doubt it’ll happen) lingerie.
Parents MUST to play a role in GUIDING their children’s choices. Because I don’t care how “free” a spirit your kid is… No little girl needs to be running around have naked and dressed like a sex symbol. That is SOLELY on the parents. Shame on companies like Abercrombie for marketing the merchandise, but even more shame goes to the parents for saying, “Yeah, that’s a GREAT IDEA”
I think LZ Granderson made a HUGELY valid point which is that PARENTS are the one buying these items for their kids. And from first-hand experience, pushing and or encouraging it. Case in point: My (then) 7 year old niece Annie and her mom.
I can’t begin to tell you how disgusted I was when my sister-in-law bought some kiddie bras for my niece (who at the time was seven). My SIL, Shelly bought them NOT because my niece asked or begged for them, not because Annie NEEDED them (she didn’t). Shelly bought them because SHELLY thought that they were funny and cute. While I love my SIL, to me, that is just plain inappropriate. And I have friends who would/will/have bought similar items for their little girls, for the same reason.
These parents make up the demographic that companies like Abercrombie, etc are trying to “reach” with these items. I have never yet met a kid that chose outfits that are purely sexual because that’s how they want to dress. TV & media have A LOT of influence but it comes from even closer. What are those kids learning at home.
Back to my niece Annie (who is now 11). Annie has had some pretty serious body image issues since she was about 8 years old. It was about this time when she (who IS beautiful and also a little toothpick)started comparing herself to other kids, real and on TV, and saying that she wasn’t pretty, or skinny, or she was too fat, she needed to lose weight. This is the girl who understands the sexual undertone to Katy Perry’s “I kissed a girl” and sings it that way in order to get attention. This, btw, is something that still leaves me appalled.
The question isn’t what are we letting our KIDS do. The real question is what are we encouraging our kids to do?
And the future right now is beginning to look pretty grim.
I agree with the author’s idea that as a parent it is our responsibility to say no. But as individuals our boundaries for what is and is not ok for our children will be different. I want to be able to have an honest and open relationship with my son… to a point. I wouldn’t let my son go out of the house in pants that are too big and his underwear showing. I’d like to think that the example I set at home and the conversations we will have as he (and I) grow up will encourage him to dress himself appropriately (and granted, it’s what I consider appropriate.)
The author is equating how that girl is dressed with the over-sexualization of society. I think it is an unfair comparison, even though I might not have let my daughter (which I don’t have, just a son) wear the kind of clothing he described at that age. I think experimenting is ok, with makeup clothing style, etc. But I do agree that as a society we are being exposed to sex earlier and earlier and by the wrong channel. My mom talked to me about sex when I was 7 or 8 – not me having it, but just a non-judgemental informational conversation – not my best friend, or the TV or Madonna. My mom took the initiative and I hope that as a parent I take that initiative with my son so that we can overcome the misinformation and sensationalism that there is out there.
I think a few things about this. First of all I think that clothing is something that kids decide they want to wear because they see in it magazines worn by much older women. They see what is considered “beautiful, sexy, toned” at far too young an age. No kid should even have anything other than running around playing with their friends on their mind. And it IS the parents responsibility because who is buying an 8 year olds clothes? Unfortunately, eating disorders are becoming far too common among 8 year girl girls and after taking a course in the psychology of it all, I firmly believe that a lot of parents these days take far too lax of a stance. These girls are actually very likely to turn to eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, and unsafe sex for attention because of how early these issues are planted in their minds.
Of course it can be argued that outfits are innocent and if we don’t put a label on it than they’ll be none the worse for wear. But the fact of the matter is there is a label on it and the media plants these issues in young girls and boys heads again and again. It is no wonder why children (children) are having sex in 6th and 7th grade.
I frankly find it sad, and while I have no idea how I’m going to parent and I don’t want to put my kid in a bubble, I also would never want a little girl dressed like a 18 year old. It’s just far too much pressure and a recipe for disaster if you ask me.
I think the disconnect is that the article was written by a father, not a mother. The role of a mother is SO much more complicated than what the author touches on in his article. A father is gauging what’s appropriate and raising eyebrows – but a mother is teaching you how to become a woman. She’s teaching you about your body, how to love yourself, how to dress and how to wear makeup. I think as a mother you should nurture your little girl’s desires – if my kid wants to try high heels or makeup or a padded bra, then I’m fine with that! Why in the world would I want her to be uncomfortable around those things? But there is a HUGE difference between her trying it at home – and her wearing that stuff in an airport. I’m not just going to say “no” though, I’m going to explain WHY it’s not appropriate to wear that in public, and I think with a truthful enough explanation most kids won’t want to (you know, because grown men will want to have sex with them, gross!!).
Substitute another subject like eating junk food – would you let your kids eat McDonalds every night for dinner, just for the sake of not wanting to squash their journey to finding foods they like? No, you will let them experiment, but you are also going to have certain nutritional standards in your house and you are going to educate them on they WHY certain foods are bad for you. You will hope they make the right choices, but you will also put your foot down if they refuse to only eat McDonald’s for dinner every single night.
I like that the author was firm in his article, because I think too many parents make the mistake of trying to be friends with their kids. Why are there so many kids eating at McDonalds? Because the kids are begging and the parents refuse to say “no.” Why are there so many little girls in mini-skirts? Because the kids are begging and the parents refuse to say “no.” The hope is that you can have the talk with your kids, educate them on dressing appropriately, eating healthy, etc. and then it will never get to that point. But if it does – and you find yourself with a kid begging to go to McDonalds or wear that in public, then I think you should just say “no.”
I’m not a parent right now, but I may be in the future, and I agree with the above comment.
Sometimes I think parenting is really just a guessing game. Flip the coin and see which approach works! I really had all of these preconceived notions about parenthood before I jumped in and I can tell you I’m definitely flying by the seat of my pants.
I do think this issue is more than JUST the clothes. It’s what kids see in the news, on TV, and in their classrooms. It’s not just moms of girls, but of boys too. If we want to stop this over-sexualizing we need to stop glamorizing it! I am going to do my damn hardest to keep my kids KIDS for as long as I can. However, I’m not going to deny them things because of how society labels it. I want them to grow up with good values with the ability to make choices — by finding their own path. The way I see it — I can only do so much to be the best role model possible. Expose them to as many experience that I can and then let them figure out the rest. Does that mean I’ll let my daughter leave the house looking like a skank when she’s in high school? HELL to the NO! But, I will let her experiment and help her find more appropriate clothes. Maybe then we’ll all just be wearing aluminum jumpsuits or something and we won’t have that problem! (wishful thinking?)
Oh and you must read this: http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/2011/04/16/tina-feys-prayer-for-a-daughter-a-must-read-for-any-parent-or-those-who-have-had-one/
(it’s also in her book!)
Like you, I am a bit torn on the subject. While I do feel it is important to allow our children to express themselves through makeup, clothing, etc., I also don’t want to be that parent the man is talking about. I know how I was raised and that style of dress would be completely unacceptable to my parents, so I’m pretty sure I would never let my daughter dress like that either. But, I do want them to feel like they are an individual and I am not (completely) controlling their life. I know what I consider acceptable and unacceptable – and at the age of 8, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be buying my child something like that since I’m almost positive an 8 year old is not buying their own clothing. I hate to be the judge of other parents because everyone has different views on parenting, but I know I would never let my child out of the house wearing something like that, but again, that’s my feeling on parenting.
Everyone has pretty much touched on what I wanted to say, but I wanted to add one thing. I think the point you’re actually trying to make is that sexuality should be about more than clothing/makeup/hair/boobs and the reaction all this evokes in other people. We dont want to discourage “becoming a woman,” but we do want to discourage growing up too fast. I’ve heard you mention feminism in a few posts; there is a great book called Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy. This book discusses how we’ve come to confuse sexuality, femininity, and liberation with promiscuity. It has great discussions about impact on children and teens. I highly recommend!
There are a few things about the author’s post that bug me. If they were at an airport and the girl had a tan and braids, it’s likely that they were at some Carribean resort where “hair braiding” was offered as part of the tourist experience. When we went to Jamaica both I and my 10 year old daughter got our hair braided. We weren’t trying to be like Bo Derek. We just gave into the resort mentality.
From my view, the real “shame” in an 8-year old wearing Juicy sweatpants is that her parents spent that much on sweatpants that will only fit her for a few months! At what age is it appropriate to have “Juicy” on your ass? Maybe teens and twentys? But so many younger and older women wear that brand. So, some of his comments seem to miss the mark from my view, just because he might not understand the context (i.e., that Juicy is a popular, expensive brand). I might even give the “halter top” a pass as resort wear. Everyone wears less at the beach – not to be sexy, but to enjoy the weather and the feeling of the sunshine and sea breezes on your skin . . . .
That said, I do think that there is a line for appropriate dress and that parents do have a role to play in setting appropriate limits. Our rule was “no booty shorts or belly shirts” although I’m sure my daughter pushed the limits from time to time. And, I can guarantee that some of the cute outfits that grandparents bought had cropped tops — all meant to be innocent, not sexualizing.
As kids get older (tweens and teens) you really do have to pick your battles, and hemlines can pale in comparison to other issues. The main battle I can remember is insisting that our daughter wear a shirt over her bathing suit when going to/from the neighborhood pool, etc., when she was in 7-9th grade. It caused some tension, but we just added it to the long list of reasons she “hated” us. (Meghann’s post made me remember that my hubanded HATED that my daughter had thongs, but I think he was just mad because I wouldn’t wear them!)
There are parents who seem to encourage inappropriate dress in their daughters–maybe they are trying to relive their youth or have skewed values of their own–but for most parents its probably just one of many decisions that we make on the fly and hope it all works out for the best.
“At what age is it appropriate to have ‘Juicy’ on your ass?”
The correct answer is “never.”
YES.
As a mom of a 2 1/2 year old daughter, this post was a thought-provoking read. I have to say that while I think some level of experimenting with make-up and clothes is appropriate, parents are ultimately in charge of setting the limits of what is okay for public. There is just no reason for an 8-year-old to be dressed in a sexually provocative way.
Hi Katy – great post! I just had to comment and share my thoughts.
I work as a school psychologist, I am not a parent, but I work with parents and kids every day from different cultures, backgrounds and socioeconomic statuses. My comment is coming from having experiences with families without internet, families who cannot afford their Easter meal. Families with such limited means that it’s difficult to control their kiddos and be a good role model for them. With these families in mind, I think it’s imperative that parents accept their kids for who they are, but also set limits. A lot of the girls I work with have had so many “adult” experiences, at such a young age that it quite literally makes me sick to my stomach. I think that everyone, no matter culture or economic status needs to find a balance. A balance between letting a girl put on her mother’s lipstick and not allowing her too short of a skirt to wear in public.
It’s all about parenting, peer & social pressures. Often what we see on TV can influence the way kids dress up these days. There is always a fine line between explaining what is right and wrong or simply giving a “no, you can’t dress like that”.. sort of order
First off I’m not a parent. But I work with teen girls daily. Most of them don’t have strong male or female role models at home. So they dress for attention but also don’t have guidance to dress age appropriate or learn how to be pretty and not sexy.
I know for Hunni and I we want to raise a daughter and son to know they are more than clothes. They are beautiful, inside and out.
I agree that there is a good amount of people out there without role models, but that is all the more reason why when a parent is around they NEED to accept the responsibility of being a role model. Especially for an 8 year old who really knows no different and is so impressionable.
I think there is a fine line between girls wanting to dress like adults (like mommy) and girls wanting to dress like Brittany Spears. There is a difference between girls wearing bikinis and girls wearing bikinis with a push-up top. When Abercrombie first came out with the push-up top, I was frustrated that people were attacking Abercrombie for putting it out on the market. They merely did it because they thought it would sell. Who we should really be looking to in that situation are the parents. If those tops are selling, its because of the parents. Parents don’t have to buy the tops, but they do. In some cases, its to appease the child who so desperately wants it. In which case, parents should learn when to step in and say no. Parents are wanting to be too much like their child’s friends these days, and not like the parent they are supposed to be. The other problem are the parents who buy it for their daughters because they want their daughters to look sexy. Either way, it comes down to bad parenting. Granted, it is left up to the parents to determine what is and what is not too sexy for their daughters, but I think in general, sex appeal has gotten a little out of control at such a young age.
I highly agree with J’s comment above.
What I think struck me about this article the most, is when the writer talked about the 8 yr old girl in the airport being the “Sexiest girl in the airport”. All I can think is, that’s a playground for the minds of pedophiles. I’m not a parent, but when I am, I will teach my child the importance of dressing modestly… which can still be cute and fashion. But with taste.
The scariest fact to me about these young girls dressing so “sexy”, is the horrible no-good-dirty perverts out there, that are LOOKING at these young girls and lusting after them. THEY ARE YOUNG GIRLS! That should be something a parent considers when purchasing certain outfits for their child.
A couple thoughts from another not-a-parent.
1) I think the tie-in to “sexily-dressed girls = grown men lusting after them” is baseless fear-mongering. The pedophiles will be checking out the kids anyway; healthy adults aren’t going to be turned on no matter what the kid is wearing. (For that matter, statistically speaking, “stranger danger” is far overrated when the real risk comes from mom’s boyfriend or an uncle or dad’s buddy, etc.)
2) I remember when I was kid (’90s) being envious of the clothes in the teen section looking so much more interesting than what was available to me. Nowadays there doesn’t seem to be much difference at all between the adult clothes, teen clothes, and child clothes, maybe slightly higher necklines for kids, etc. There’s a “miniature grown-up” aspect to kids’ clothes. I couldn’t begin to speculate on what this trend means or why it’s happening, just that I’ve noticed it.
3) In some countries it’s perfectly normal for little girls to wear swim trunks like the boys, sans top, which logically makes sense, but within a certain culture (like the U.S.) it seems wrong. Girls are not women and have nothing that needs to be covered at that age (an entirely different argument about whether women have anything that ‘needs’ to be covered exists but is outside this discussion
). Here we don’t seem to quite fully make that distinction (another tangential issue: the perception of nudity in children being transformed into “always wrong” so that even classic and once normal nude baby shots have been subject to suspicion), and perhaps the over-adult clothing is an extension of that.
But as I see it, “girls are not women” is the key idea. Even when little girls try on lipstick and prance around in Mom’s heels (or have little kid cheapo heels as part of a dress-up set), that’s still firmly in the “girl” sphere. This boundary starts blurring as puberty approaches, but an 8-year-old at least should reasonably be seen firmly in the “girl” category.
4) I wonder what the response would be to an 8-year-old “dressing up like Mom” by wearing a power suit. It would seem equally inappropriate, I think, but for somewhat different reasons that nonetheless stem from the same root argument that “this isn’t something for kids/this doesn’t reflect childhood activities.”
Just a response to 1) – if a girl is dressed in a way that she looks 21 when she is actually 16, then plenty of “healthy adults” may be lusting after her, because they have no idea she is that young! It’s not baseless fear-mongering, it’s what erin said below: “It is our job as parents to teach our children that people will judge them according to how they present themselves.” That includes judging from men and their thoughts when they view scantily-clad women. Not to incite fear, but to explain to them how the world works.
Oh, sure, and I agree with that. I was angling more towards the “little kids dressed like 21 year olds” concept.
Yes, if a girl is 5 and in a crop-top or “pageant wear” and a guy thinks it’s hot, there is something wrong with him, LOL! But it’s scary how much older some teenage girls could look. Definitely lots of jail-bait out there.
I think you make a good point by saying “girls are not women”. It is true. Nowadays the little girls, juniors and women’s clothing sections are pretty darn similar. I’m not saying there should be a huge distinction, but these little girls need to have something to look forward too…right?! I mean, the “zomg, I get a training bra” should not be the biggest time in a girls life when it comes to clothes…there would also be a “wooee, a bikini” and “yippee, skippy, mom is buying me a mini skirt” time in a child’s life, right?
Maybe I’m just optimistic…
as the mother of a little girl, i know that she will want to experiment with clothing and makeup to express who she is..but it is my job to know my daughter and know when she is ready to handle certain fashions. I am ultimately the one who will buy her clothing and while even at four she has a say in what clothings I buy her..I only give her options of what I feel appropriate. It is our job as parents to teach our children that people will judge them according to how they present themselves. I will instill in my daughter self confidence and self respect and cross my fingers that when she comes to her rebellious phase, which they all do, she will have what she has learned in the back of her head and make smart decisions.
I feel that one of the biggest issues with today’s youth is that parents are so worried about being their child’s friend and forget that it is there job to be their parents. My children are young, 6 and 4, and when I tell them no about anything…I hear the dreaded words, “I hate you, you are a mean mommy”…my response…”I am your mother..you don’t have to like me, but you will listen to me.” I am okay with this…they aren’t going to like me all the time..if they did..I don’t feel I would be doing a good job as a mom.
I feel like every generation of parents fears that the future generations of children (and parents) will be absolutely terrible. Societies evolve, year after year, and the people tend to have great difficultly with change. Just think of the 60′s for instance – did anyone think those people would be great parents?
However, I don’t see these fears becoming a reality. Is every generation a little less moral? Maybe. But I think it’s that the bad decisions speak much louder than the good ones and overall, our generations have stayed relatively constant in regards to morals and values.
I am not a parent and cannot speak for how I will parent my children, but for now, I am comfortable in the thought that I will allow my children the freedom to express themselves so that they can learn from their choices and mistakes. Does that mean I will let them parade around in lingerie? Absolutely not. Will I buy them designer sweat pants at 8? Probably not. But do I think buying them a training bra at 10 or allowing them to try some lipgloss here and there will ruin their morality? You bet I don’t.
I’m a parent and while I agree some parents need a reality check I also think it’s too simple to “blame the parents”.
I think you hit it dead on Katy when you say kids need to be allowed to experiment, dress up, and discover who they are for themselves.
But, here’s the kicker, we also need to recognize that as a society we do not react well to individuality. We’re a society that simultaneously pushes sex appeal and shuns it at the same time.
We’re also a society that has very strict gender guidelines that everyone must follow. Girl with short hair in jeans, t-shirt and ball cap = automatically her sexuality is in question. Why? Because she’s not wearing pink skirts and bikini tops to appeal to the opposite sex.
Remember last week when Jenna Lyons, J. Crew’s president and creative director, included a picture of her with her son Beckett in the catalog spread? Did it go viral because of the undeniable mother/son bond shown in the pictures? No. It was the fact that she was painting Beckett’s toe nails, an activity they often enjoyed doing together.
I have to confess, I paint my son’s toenails too. And I get hell for it from his dad, from co-workers, from lots of people who are focusing on the wrong aspects of the activity. Instead of focusing on what’s actually going on, people like to focus on the controversy. On the “other”, the “wrong”, the “out of place”. And that’s exactly what I think is going on here, with this story.
As a parent, I am thankful that I have a little boy – I really think boys are easier to raise than girl (I do hope to have a girl someday, but having a boy first was exactly what I’d hoped for). Little girls are put through the ringer way more than boys are and sometimes its tough for a little girl to know what’s appropriate if she doesn’t have the right kind of role models in her life. That being said, I think it is important for parents to let their kids know what’s okay and what isn’t. Sure the little baby in the bikini may be cute, but when it’s a 11 year old who looks 16, it may not be that cute or okay.
I completely agree that too many young children – yes, children! – are dressing in completely inappropriate clothing. And I don’t think it is completely the parent’s fault. Society plays a huge part. Yes, the parents need to take on a lot of the responsibility – they need to be building the child’s self esteem in areas that don’t involve skimpy clothes or fall-off-the-ass jeans. Parents need to put their foot down (easy said than done, I’m sure). That won’t keep the kids from experimenting and breaking the rules and blatantly go against what mom/dad say; however, even in my years of rebellion there is no way in hell my parents would have let me go into such a public place baring all! That kind of rebelling I did with friends when, in the end, it really didn’t make that big of a difference.
And I do blame society a bit – we were talking about this at work the other day. On of the ladies has a friend with a young daughter (about 8). The girl went into Hollister (I hate this store, have NEVER shopped there) and with in minutes was in tears because nothing fit her. The girl is freaking 8 years old…how does Hollister have such jacked up sizes that nothing fits an 8 year old?! I mean, even an overweight 8 year old isn’t a massive human. This annoyed me.
I am not a parent and all of this (combined with a million other issues) makes me terrified to have a child. Really, it does.