(Sooooo…I had this scheduled for publishing on Monday. Then I chickened out. I ran it by my pal MomJovi who has amazing insight on deep issues like this, and she told me to stop being so skerrrrrred and just post it already.)
(Note #2: After reviewing the post, MomJovi asked me how I’d feel about boys in the same situations, and whether I had a double standard. After thinking about it, I think that it still comes down to the behavior for me, not the outfit. So, yes, I have a problem with boys being shirtless and sassy at car washes too. So there.)
I’m not a particularly conservative person. I’ve written about burlesque dancing (“Get Your Sexy On“), pole dancing (“5 Ways Pole Dancing is Like Social Media“) and my love of makeup (“Au Naturel is Au-verrated“).
I believe in body confidence, feeling safe in your own skin and owning your sexuality, no matter what your age or size. I’m pro-femininity. Accepting of others. And I believe that it’s wrong to make rules for how we can dress, talk and behave in our personal lives.
But I’m 31, not 13.
So I’ve also written about changing the way we talk to young girls (“The Case Against ‘You’re So Pretty‘”) and weighed in on a controversial article about parents’ responsibilities when it comes to how their daughters look (“Don’t Dress Your Girls Like Tramps”).
And now I’m about to throw it down once more. I’m horrified about what I’m seeing in high schools across Florida, and I need to vent.
Cheerleader Outfits in Class
image source: purecostumes.com
This week, there’s been a big to-do about one county’s decision to exempt cheerleaders from a strict dress code in public schools. From the Orlando Sentinel:
Cheerleaders [in Seminole County] will be allowed to wear short uniform skirts to class on game days, as has been tradition. While some complain it is unfair, district officials have decided that the ban on short skirts on girls does not apply to cheerleaders. The decision came after high school principals huddled at the start of football season and agreed to give cheerleaders an exemption to the new rules, which say “dresses, skirts and shorts must be at least mid-thigh or below in length” and nixes clothing that is “sexually suggestive.”
So, non-cheerleaders get sent home for short skirts. Cheerleaders are encouraged to wear them.
I love school spirit. I love bonding through sports. And I’m not even against young girls getting a chance to explore and express their femininity.
But having special rules for special students is just bull, and it’s one more way that we’re rewarding young women for dressing provocatively and encouraging clique warfare. If you want to make the argument that the skirts are proper game-day outfits because they allow the students to perform their cheers and stunts, fine. If you want to tell me that the skirts are not about sex, I’ll listen to you.
But our kids are in school for just hours a day. They can race home and change for all I care, and then it’s the parents’ job to dictate what’s appropriate and what’s not.
Please, for the love of Gaia, keep the short skirts out of class. Let our girls have a chance to act their ages.
Bikini Car Washes
And on that note — I’m ready to stand in the street holding a sign of my own.
NO. MORE. BIKINI. CAR. WASHES. FOR. KIDS. I don’t care how cool “Glee” makes it look (video embedded below):
They are, almost without exception, wearing teeny tops, short shorts, soaked and soapy and shaking their butts to get my attention. It makes me seethe.
Don’t get me wrong. I obviously don’t think there’s anything inherently sexual about car washes. And I don’t, as a rule, have a problem with young girls wearing two-piece swimsuits or even experimenting with their own sexuality (safely) at a certain age. And I certainly support kids of all ages sizes and genders feeling confident in their bodies. If kids were typically holding their signs in t-shirts and shorts, or didn’t prance around provocatively, I wouldn’t be so mad.
But it seems like this activity — which is, by the way, totally uncreative and played-out — is less about making money for schools and more about sanctioning a hyper-sexualized and, frankly, cliche tradition. I never seem to see the math club or debate team holding these fundraisers. It’s the cheerleaders and dance teams; groups that already seem to encourage young girls to use their bodies for attention.
OK, rant over. I know not everyone will agree with me on both points, or even either point. But I felt like I needed to get this off my chest.
About Katy
a-friggen-men. If we continue to hypersexualize our youth and encourage them to use their bodies in this way, we are doing them a disservice. Their bodies are strong and beautiful and THEIRS. NOT some skeevy old dude in a pinto.
Cat @Breakfast to Bed recently posted..Fall Back Wednesday
Totally agree!!!
Okay, I love the idea of a chess club car wash so much I want to organize one at my kid’s middle school. Brilliant!
Invariably, I’ll drive by these and I catch the douche in the Yukon ahead of me slowing waaaaay down to check out girls his daughter’s age. Grosses me out to no end.
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If I saw a chess club car wash, I’d happily fork over money…assuming, of course, that they were not scantily clad.
You’re definitely allowed to rant! I went to high school in Seminole County, and the cheerleaders not only had short skirts but their uniform tops cut off above their midriff, which is obviously not allowed normally either. Maybe it’s just be who isn’t comfortable showing that much at school, at a car wash or even at the gym (don’t get me started on some of those outfits), but I hope that if I have a little girl one day, she’ll dress a little more conservatively too.
I have never heard of bikini car washes in high school. Wow. That is totally inappropriate. I can get behind car washes for fundraisers if done in reasonable attire and no goofing off, hosing down, or things in the process. And as for the cheerleading outfits – there are other ways to show school spirit without making a double standard for clothing requirements.
Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun recently posted..WIAW: Flashback To My Fitness Comp Days
I am with you. I want one cheerleader to convince me she wants to wear her short little skirt just to show spirit, not her legs. Seriously, that’s one of the main reasons to BE a cheerleader–they get to show off in the little uniform–it’s a badge of pride (and occasionally, promiscuity). They will live if they have to ditch the skirt at school.
As for the car washes…honestly, I see more held by the boys H.S. sports teams than the girls around my neighborhood. At least one Saturday a month I can be guaranteed to see the boys lacrosse or soccer or baseball team standing on the street corner…sometimes shirtless… Am I offended? Nope, I just kind of shake my head. The girls in bikini tops bother me. I admit, I have a double standard.
Vinobaby (aka Kerry Ann) recently posted..Wordless Wino Wednesday: Party Skirt
It’s hard not to have a double standard…I am trying to shake it!
I am on board with your post 100%! What is most disturbing, often times, is that the parents are no where to be found at these fundraisers. Who is supervising these kids? Who is ensuring these bikini clad minors are safe from predators (because let’s face it, bikini clad high school students seems like bait for predators…) and from each other? For me, it’s not so much the car wash as it is the unsupervised solicitation. In NY, you can go to the mall and be bombarded by girl scouts selling cookies, but the parents are nowhere in sight!! I guess I wouldn’t have such a problem with all of the behavior if there were parents or other adults there to supervise and monitor that behavior doesn’t get out of control (WOW do I feel old writing that. I wonder if my views would have been the same eleven years ago as a senior in high school).
Excellent point — I’m not a parent, so I try and be really cautious about passing any judgement. But I definitely want to see more supervision.
The short skirt double standard is not okay.
Butt (yep, butt), I was a cheerleader in HS and loved that I got to wear my uniform on game days. So there’s that.
RunEatRepeat recently posted..Ask a Monican for Cupcakes
I totally get the uniform thing…I just don’t think it’s appropriate to say OK to cheerleader skirts and no to other skirts. I was on the swim team, and we didn’t wear our bathing suits. We wore matching shirts, or warmup pants, and if either had been banned for other students, I wouldn’t have wanted the double standard for us, either.
Can you still do a herkie?
Be not afraid…I know I agree with you wholeheartedly…on both points…
Lynna recently posted..Here comes the sun…
Well, the year I started cheering in middle school was the year they began to make us wear sweat pants under our skirts if we wanted to wear our uniforms on game days. Uniform companies make special pants to wear under cheer skirts, which is what we caught onto in high school. I do think it’s unreasonable to expect cheerleaders to bring a change of clothes or “run home to change.” I was already lugging around all the extras that we needed (extra shoes, socks, pompons, etc.) in a huge gym bag on top of my school books in my backpack. Most schools don’t provide adequate locker space, if any at all (cheerleaders at my school were not given access to the lockers in the locker rooms; we could only use the space for changing. So unless you had a girl friend on the basketball or softball team who would be willing to share her already limited space with you, you were SOL.) When it’s a home game, once school lets out you run over to the field to practice and put up signs, get concession stands ready, etc. When it’s an away game, you’re running to catch the bus. As far as the sexualization of cheerleaders goes, I always felt that was more of a problem for the other girls than it was for me or for anyone on the team.
Carly (Swim, Run, Om) recently posted..what i’m listening to
This is a good point, Carly. I hadn’t considered that there’s not time to change or space/storage for anything cause I sure do remember all the gear and bags. But I also remember the sweatpants (tearaway pants, actually) and turtlenecks – cause it’s super cold here by the end of football season.
Kate recently posted..Escaping Myself
That’s an interesting point…I hadn’t factored in the changing aspect. Even so, football players and swim team members have to change, so if the school if going to enforce a rule for others, I think it needs to make sure that it’s taken steps to be able to enforce it without burdening the students.
Guilty. I did the bikini carwashes in HS. Also, I wasn’t a cheerleader, but rather a theater geek that was allowed to wear my costume to school the day of a show. Coincidentally, I played a prostitute more than once, so this included mid-driffs, slit skirts up to there, and strappy tops.
Now that I’m 30? Oh my, what was I thinking?
Katy @ MonsterProof recently posted..Yet Another Busy Weekend
Katy with a “y” AND a theater geek? We’re like long lost sisters!
I’m with you Katy- there should NOT be a double standard with the skirt issue. If they want to wear their uniforms in class, said uniforms should fit with the dress code. If they don’t, they should have to either wear something under the skirts or they should not be allowed to wear them in class.
As for the bikini car washes- I’m sorry, that’s totally inappropriate. A car wash is ok. Making it a forum for older men to look at scantily clad, wet, teenaged girls? Not ok.
Kristen (inspiredbydooce) recently posted..wordless wednesday- cafe saint henri
Wow. We don’t have bikini car washes here. The cheerleaders wear their practice shirt and cheer t-shirt. The football and soccer teams do them too.
As for the cheerleading uniforms…not appropriate for class. The school I taught at had midriff shirts and the skirts with panels and bloomers. Boys were always trying to see the girls butts. Make it one rule and stick to it.
Cynthia (It All Changes) recently posted..To Your Health: Write a Real Letter
I take far more issue with the car wash than I do with the uniform in class – but we didn’t have midriff baring uniforms at my high school. We also have a significantly different climate and our cheerleaders were often really cold for games so they wore sweats and long sleeves under their uniforms just as often as not. However, I have NEVER understood how wearing your uniform to class promotes school spirit in the slightest. I am not pleased with the idea that special exceptions to the dress code would be made to accomodate cheer uniforms. I think that’s just ridiculous and unfair – if one group can have an exception, then other groups should be allowed to have them as well.
yes yes yes! I agree with all of this. I think it’s just exploiting girls completely. Do guys want a car wash because their car is dirty? Probably not.
Alexa @ Simple Eats recently posted..BBQ Chicken Chili
Okay so, I used to live on Semoran near University in Orlando and the gas station on the corner had a Bikini car wash permanently established there.. it was AWFUL. I don’t care how old you are, I really don’t want to see you provocatively dancing on the side of the road. If people are going to do it, that’s fine.. I just think it’s classless. My humble opinion hah.
As far as cheerleading goes… we used to have what are called fly away skirts… so they were short, but they had slits/panels so when the girls who were flyers would twist down, the skirt would fly apart and look really neat. We also had the typical plain short skirt. We were required to wear bloomers (the shorts, not the bikini cut) so that helped cover things up. More or less though I just felt like even though we were supposed to wear them and we had an exception to the rule, they were just a pain because they would ride up etc etc and you constantly felt like you were on display. Some girls were all about it, I was not.
Jessica @ Life by the Arch recently posted..New city. New blog.
Yeah, it’s still there and I cringe every time I drive by it. And I feel bad for the women that staff it — they never look happy to be there.
I couldn’t agree more. Every single time we drive by one of those, I look at my husband and say, “My child will never do that.” I don’t even have children and I’m already the mean mom.
As for the double standard on uniforms, OH HELL NO. If they don’t comply with the dress code, they are not okay to wear at school. Period. I feel the same way about high school cross country teams that I see running shirtless. Put your clothes on. You’re at school. That coach is likely a teacher at your school and does not need to see you running around half-dressed. It’s just weird. End of story.
Lauren @ Forward is a Pace recently posted..Overwhelmed
In this scenario, I’m more disappointed than the parents than the schools that allow this. I went to a school with a uniform, and I remember we all used to wear our kilts SO short, not because we wanted attention from guys but because it was “cool” and it was what we’d seen since we were middle schoolers there looking at the older girls. It’s up to the parent to explain WHY dressing/dancing that way is innapropriate…most young girls don’t think that they’re going to be leered at by older men. I think if they could actually hear what males were thinking when they saw them dressed like that, they’d all be in turtlenecks…
Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine recently posted..Rolled Foods
Oooh, interesting perspective…and I agree — at 14 and 15, I did not have enough of a level head to say no to that stuff. My mom was big on raising me to understand that my body was a precious thing, but I don’t know that other kids got the same feedback.
I’m new here, saw a link to this post. And I just commented on a (somewhat) similar one on faith fitness fun. But I always say – it comes back to the parents. I would have NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER been allowed to do a bikini carwash. My mom would have been horrified, my dad irate. And I judge any school administration that allows either the exemption from dress code or the “fundraiser.” Then again I went to an all girl catholic high school, so it was run by nuns. I’m old school.
Alls I know is that if my skirt was rolled too many times, I got a demerit. And an evil eye from my parents.
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Which one scared you more — the demerit, or the evil eye?
I absolutely agree! It is dis-inclusive to have one population have one set of rules, and the rest have another. Equality in all regards. I also wonder why parents accept it as normal to wear to school as an outfit, and not just a uniform. As you have said – you wore a swim suit but didn’t wear it at school on game days. Our school had pants as an option to wear at school for the cheerleaders. And as for the car wash my brain still cannot process that one.
Kendra @ Embrace Self Love recently posted..i am a runner even when i walk
Our school had pants as an option to wear at school for the cheerleaders. I’m with you Katy- there should NOT be a double standard with the skirt issue. Now that I’m 30? But I definitely want to see more supervision.
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