If you want to save yourself some time and energy, go read “Oh Yes, You Can!” from my blogging BFF Theodora. Her journey through healthy living is so inspirational, and she’s been so honest with her struggles that when she says she doesn’t want to hear your excuses, you can understand why. She has a great thesis, and I think that once you finish the post, you’ll stop using the same tired lines that you always do.
I don’t have enough time.
I can’t afford to go to the gym/buy equipment/eat healthy foods.
I wouldn’t know how to get started.
My family doesn’t support me.
I’ll make my health a priority some day, just not today.
Here’s the thing. If you don’t want to change your life, DON’T. I fully get that there are obstacles that make eating healthy and working out a challenge. I know that for some of you, the time isn’t right. You have kids or parents that depend on you; you work long hours and want to devote your free time to sleeping and hobbies.
That’s fine.
But own it, OK? When you say things to me like
“I admire you so much, but I just don’t have the willpower or time to get healthier myself.”
You’re cheating us both.
I choose every single day to make a good decision. Then another. Then another.
It never gets easier. I work my ass off — literally! — every day, and I never wake up and crave chia seeds over cookies. I constantly make sacrifices. I defend my lifestyle. I smile at the haters and I fight the inner voices that tell me to just give up and sit on the couch. I will always (ALWAYS) be inclined to walk when I could run or eat pizza when it’s in front of me.
It’s hard, grueling, painful, exhausting work. A daily battle. It is a battle for my life, and I will fight it for life.
My decisions are no more valid than yours, but they’re mine. You need to make yours. I am not buying your excuses.
If you want to get healthy, get healthy. Demand more of yourself and of the people that love you. Make a decision and stick to it. Embrace the sacrifices, because they’ll lead you to your goals.
If you don’t want to get healthy, don’t. I don’t spend much time worrying about your choices, because mine are so freaking hard on their own.
If you need help, reach out. I live for those emails, tweets and phone calls. THAT, I can respond to. THAT, I can believe in.
</rant>
About Katy
I love this. Can I quote you?
Debbie recently posted..Excuse Me!
Please do
I’m glad you liked it!
Oh man! I SO needed this today. I slept in for my Monday workout. Eeeep. Getting on track and keeping that motivation when others around you are noshing on pizza is hard. But, it isn’t supposed to be easy, so do it. Love, love, LOVE this.
LOVE IT!!! Thanks for sharing.
Vinny (@VinnySlavin) recently posted..I’m Featured!
Good post! I have pretty much given up trying to help a few of my friends. They complain to me ALL THE TIME about how they can’t lose weight, that nothing works, etc etc. At first I tried to be supportive and helpful but I’ve since realized that they are never going to make the actual changes to lose the weight. And that’s fine. They just want to complain about it but not do the work–that’s their issue not mine. So I just listen now and I don’t say anything to help. It’s a shame because I lost over 100 pounds, clearly I know how to do it if they DID want to listen. Oh well! It’s their journey, not mine.
Lisa recently posted..Easiest Quinoa and Salmon
Word!!
Can you PLEASE come and tell my coworker/office buddy this?? (anonymous email maybe?) You say it more eloquently than I ever could. I am so tired of hearing him bitch about his health. It concerns me because I care about the guy – but there’s only so much advice I can dole out (that he will never take)!
Michelle @ Crazy*Running*Legs recently posted..Ode to My 30s
LOVED this post!! I was the queen of excuses for the longest time (and I still fall into that from time to time) until one day I was complaining about being unhealthy and my boyfriend was like “Seriously – then do something about it. I’m sick of hearing you complain”. I was so irritated with him but then realized he was right (don’t tell him that). I have a hard time losing weight but it’s because I’m restricting myself from fully putting my heart/soul into becoming healthy!
Once again, so very well said. I love your no-nonsense approach to this topic. Lots of folks need to hear this (including myself on bad days!)
Katy!!!! you crack me up. your brutal honesty is great!
and, i must admit, i couldn’t help but actually laugh aloud when i saw the HTML code at the end. nicely played!
i agree.
own it. Rachel Wilkerson did a piece about owning it about a year ago, and it was a big help to me. yours here is like icing on the cake.
we are trying to solve a percieved problem here at work, and the REAL answer is that people are LAZY, but no one has bothered to actually say it yet.
until this morning when I said it. the room fell silent…..yes, the truth can hurt, but it can also be LIBERATING.
thank you for posting.
This. That is all. Thank you for saying EXACTLY what I feel.
Donna D recently posted..My Support Network
LOVE THIS! It’s all about taking that first small step then another and soon those small steps become big steps and lifestyle changes. It’s definitely been difficult for me to juggle my job with working out and my love of food with moderation, but I realize that I don’t have to be perfect all the time. It’s just about living the best life I can and making strives with what works for me.
I love this! I recently posted an article on daily spark about fitting in a healthy lifestyle even with a long commute. http://www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?post=how_to_keep_a_long_commute_from_wrecking_your_healthy_habits Mine takes almost 3 hours of my day away from me. I used to complain, but you realize that you just have to make it work if you really want to maintain your healthy lifestyle.
OMG, so freaking true! I get the “I wish I could be more like you” a lot from coworkers and friends. I’m no different from them, I just choose to DO IT! I also literally work my ass off to stay fit and healthy – it’s not an easy task and luckily I actually enjoy doing it. But don’t make me your excuse. You don’t have to be like me to be healthy. Just DO SOMETHING. Ugh – thanks for the rant Katy!
Kristen @ The Concrete Runner recently posted..what i’ve learned from pregnancy
Well said, Kristen!
Alicia recently posted..Moving
Thanks for the shout-out! You’re my blogging BFF too
I am available to yell at anyone day or night.
Theodora recently posted..I Wanna Go Fast!
Katie I loved this post!!! I wish I could shout this every single day to so many people!!!
Lauren recently posted..Vegetable Fried Rice with Tofu
great post Katy. It’s so true. I have clients who want to make changes but give me so so so many excuses. love the truth to this.
Nicole (Making Good Choices) recently posted..Quick, Cheap & Easy: Just How You Like It!
AMEN, sister! To everything you wrote.
janetha recently posted..penises & pianists.
This is great inspiration! I just read Theodora’s post and loved it! Thanks for posting!
Stephanie recently posted..Fall Love!
Ughh you have no idea how badly I want to say this to a few family members and my mother!!! I wish they could some how stumble across this!!
kaitlin @4loveofcarrots recently posted..mighty ducks
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!
Katy, you said it 1,000% right. I can relate, hearing those comments from people and having the desire to defend the hard work and dedication that goes into maintaining healthy habits — and creating a stronger willpower.
The couch, the glass of wine, the chocolate… Of course I’m tempted to quit, give up, slack, or make excuses. But I did that before, and I know what kind of life that was. I will never go back to being the lazy, overweight, unhealthy person I was.
Thank you for posting this!
Alicia
Alicia recently posted..Moving
I love this post. I totally fall prey to the saying I want to lose weight, but then making crappy choices, but I like to think I own my crappy choices and I don’t sit around making excuses about it.
This post actually reminded me of a Rachel Wilkerson post about how we have to stop waiting for the new normal, which really resonated with me.
I think this is one of my favorite posts of yours EVER!!!
Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun recently posted..I Better Knock On Wood
AMAZING post Katy.
Mary (A Merry Life) recently posted..I Have A Big Butt, I Can Not Lie
I love, love, LOVE this post! There are few people in my life that spend more time making excuses about why they can’t do something instead of A) just doing it or B) owning their decision to not do it. I want to share this with them–and I will!
AMEN! LOVE this post! I hate it when people make those comments to me, as though I am behaving in a way that they feel a need to defend their decisions to me, and, in doing so, make me feel like a bad person for making healthy decisions the majority of the time.
Deva @ Deva by Definition recently posted..Weekend Recap
Love, love, love this. We have a saying at work “suck it up cupcake.” That’s what I want to say to people that hate on the healthy choices. Either “suck it up cupcake” and do it b/c yeah, it can be hard but it is possible or stop commenting about it.
Gina @ Running to the Kitchen recently posted..Pumpkin brownies
Well said. I think many people just haven’t gotten to that point where they mean it. No judgement on that, but like you said, own it. The whole ‘I wish’ and ‘I can’t’ thing is just cheating yourself.
Great post! I admit to feeling bitter that I am yanking myself out of bed every morning, not eating those juicy pizzas, etc. etc. Tough to remember that these sacrifices are part of the “deal.”
Julie (A Case of the Runs) recently posted..Vegan "Chicken and Dumplings"
Amen! I love this post! So much. I have friends who tell me I’m so lucky that I’m able to get up at 5:30 to run or swim. Umm luck has nothing to do with it!
I love love love this and respect you so much for putting it out there. I think things along these lines all the time, but have never been able to put them together into a non-offensive thought
Go you!
Allie {a teaspoon of LIFE} recently posted..Fantasmic!
You hit the nail with this post…bravo!
Well said Katy!
Carolina @ Peas in a Blog recently posted..Classic Green Beans.
Katy!! I rarely comment, but this post is bang on! I hear this all the time from people I work with too – I’ve lost 107 pounds the HARD way – lifestyle change! There is NO quick fix, it is LOTS of work, and yes, I talk about the races I run, and the training I’m doing, because I want to show them they can do it too!
You know what? You have to WANT it. And no one can want it except you. I dragged my family along kicking & screaming (I’m the head chef, so they eat what I cook
), eventually, gradually, changes become the new normal.
And you know what? If you don’t want it, then don’t. I’m OK with you making your own choices. You want to eat McD’s 5 days a week and never exercise? Fine! But don’t complain about your diabetes and high blood pressure!
You know why people make excuses? Our choices make them feel guilty. They need to get over it.
Kris recently posted..Fire Up For Fall – Week 2 Update
1.preach it!
2. thanks for the shout out.
3. my favorite part of this entire post? your html end rant. love. love. love.
Heather recently posted..Healthy Living with Max
This is a lovely little kick in the tuchus for me today. I know what I need to do, I know how to do it, and I’ve been making excuses for myself and being a big baby. But at least I try for the most part.
I do have a huge problem with the people I know that constantly talk about it, complain about it, but never ever try just to do anything about it.
Karen recently posted..When you put me down…
Sorry I’m NOT sorry you’re fat and make bad choices! Ah…I feel better! Great post…it needed to be said and I’ve been screaming it in my head for years!
Shaun @ snackasaurusrex recently posted..Dealing with stress
OMG!!!!!!!! lol so so true. What I do and the choices I make on a daily basis don’t come naturally. That are just that, choices, that are sometimes hard to make, but so worth it in the end. Yes there are times in out life when we are not completely available to work out whenever we want, or eat as great as we would like, but that’s when balance and sacrifice comes in to play. Right now I just started school, am still working and am training for my first half marathon. Sometimes I must sacrifice precious couch/tv for homework so that I can go to bed early, so I can wake up early and run! Sometimes I sacrifice lazy time at night so I can put together healthy meals to take with me to school the next day. Sometimes during my breaks between class I sacrifice the time to sit in the library and browse the web, so I can go squeeze in a cardio/cross training workout. Healthy living requires time, yes, but it’s strategically planned, well thought out time. I could easily make excuses to not work out (I’m too busy with school and work), I could easily make excuses to not eat well (with school and work I just don’t have time to make and pack healthy foods so I have to eat out). Most of our excuses are just that: excuses.
Thanks for being honest and open. To an extent I think that as one goes down the path of trying to live healthier, choices become more like habits and second nature. Don’t get me wrong… pizza tastes awesome! But I truly crave healthy choices all the time too because it’s what makes me feel awesome and energized. I think becoming healthier also gets you more in tune with cues from your body which makes making healthier choices easier.
I push this idea with my clients all the time. It’s so true- whatever we do is a result of the choices that we make. And we need to OWN and take responsibility for whatever choice we do make.
all Ive really gots in an AMEN.
I completely took this approach as a trainer.
MizFit recently posted..My Top 3 Misfit Marketing Tips.
As someone who made those excuses – predominantly to myself – for decades, I totally get this. I have finally taken responsibility for my health, and am loving it.
Hot Coco recently posted..Week 7 in Review
I had mixed feelings towards this post. I agree with the sentiment that:
* our choices are nothing to do with anyone else
*wanting to do something and actually doing it are different things
* we make excuses to ourselves about why we do or don’t do the things we proclaim we want to do
I have to admit that I felt a little bit uncomfortable about the fact that it sounds like it’s a real chore to have to do the things you do to be healthy. I can completely appreciate that it’s not always easy, but surely something has to mainly bring happiness (and not just weight-loss) for it to be truly worthwhile…
Heather,
Your feedback is appreciated…as you might have been able to tell from the tone of this, it was a message for myself as much as everyone else
I think that it is a chore, a lot of the time. I love the rush of crossing a finish line, or feeling sweat dripping down my back after a spin class. I don’t feel nearly as good when I take a few days off of working out, or eat foods that don’t make me feel healthy.
But it’s still a choice that I make each day to keep on fighting. And even at my happy weight, when I’m in top fitness form and more, it never gets easier.
Have you ever noticed that people ask you for health advice but a lot of times it ends up turning in to a discussion where you’re defending your choices or being made to feel bad but really they asked you about your habits in the first place?
(excuse the run on sentence)
because that is what ALWAYS happens to me …
if you want advice, ask for it … if not – let’s not talk about my food or my workout plans or my bike etc. etc. etc.
Morgan @ Life After Bagels recently posted..An Update On The Tummy Issues
Amen sista!
Julie @ Wearing Mascara recently posted..The day I raced eight miles with no training
Love this post. So so true! I get that all the time and it drives me batty!
Amber from Girl with the Red Hair recently posted..Sleep Deprivation and Lululemon Gift Card Winner
This post hit a nerve with me, in a good way. It provoked a post I wrote today where I discuss how I have felt guilty because of my weight loss success because I felt like I was one of the lucky ones. Then I remembered how luck had nothing to do with it. I made so many sacrifices, worked my ass of in the gym, and constantly had to put time and effort into making the right food choices. Thank you for writing this post and allowing me to really formulate into words what i have been feeling for a long time.
Amen, girl!
I saw this post linked at Keeping Up with Katie and I could not agree more. If something is important to us, we make it a priority. If being healthy isn’t a priority for someone, that’s fine just quit telling me all your excuses.
I’m sorry Katy, I’ll be the unpopular one and have to play devil’s advocate here.
What’s “healthy” for you isn’t healthy or me. For me, its not about “willpower”. In fact, I think “healthy” means something different to each individual. “Healthy” for me is actually laying off the exercise as I am prone to overdo it. “Healthy” for me is sometimes eating a pizza. I know that isn’t everybody, but I don’t think “health” has anything to do with excuses. Some people simply don’t have money, healthy insurance, etc. No one wants to be “unhealthy”, but some people can’t even try to start.
Maybe I read this post wrong and I respect you for writing it. I guess I’m just owning the fact that I don’t really believe there is a true definition of what is “health”.
Eden recently posted..Internet “Oops!” and Jicama Melon Salsa
I agree here. And I feel like it’s a little disheartening that it’s always this hard chore for people.
Health is different for each context and situation but one common thread I believe everyone has is that health is in the mind as well.
How can someone truly be healthy constantly striving for something that feels like a chore?
Or how can someone be healthy if they are constantly defending themselves and their lifestyle?
Being this way puts you in such a negative and contractive state which to me seems . . . Very unhealthy.
I feel like if it’s really that hard, then there is a much more deep underlying issue than just food and exercise and THAT is what needs to be worked on first.
Thanks for being honest and writing this post!
Val @ Balancing Val recently posted..Our Friday Night Dinner
Hey girl!
Thanks for adding your two cents…I think the most fascinating thing that has happened for me in the comments is that after venting in the post, I’m more open and receptive to other opinions. I’m really motivated by your note that letting go of being in charge of everyone else’s motivation has opened up time and energy for making my own journey the best it can be.
I can’t really agree with this post. I do agree that there are some people who constantly have excuses (like not enough time) for getting healthy, when they really are just making a choice to stay unhealthy. However, I have also seen first hand people who are fighting and struggling but honestly DO NOT have time, or the money to get healthy. I also have met people who are so sick, and fighting so hard for their lives (literally) that they cannot lose weight to get into the healthy range. Or what about people with PCOS? I think it is very unfair to assume that people’s reasons are all “excuses”. I KNOW that I am privileged- I am not rich, but I have a good enough job I can afford to go to the gym, afford to eat healthy food, and afford to take the time to be healthy. Not everyone can. It is not my job to judge them, or make assumptions that they just don’t care, or just aren’t trying.
Nicole and Eden,
Thanks to you both for your feedback — I learn as much from people with persuasive arguments against mine as I do from the people that agree…and I think both of you have very valid points.
However, I will follow up to say that I am not talking about the results of healthy lifestyle — just the commitment. I’ve been pretty honest that despite the fact that I’m in great physical condition (I work out 5-6 times a week, eat clean, etc.), I am not skinny. In fact, my BMI classifies me as “overweight.”
So I’m not talking about or to people that have committed to change…and Eden — I think you are I are more similar than different. I used to restrict, and stay away from all treats and really hated eating. Now, I firmly believe that pizza has a place in my “healthy” diet, just like plants do. I throw out my training plans to hang out with friends, and I’m happier now — 15 pounds heavier — than I used to be.
Nicole, I also totally get and understand your point about health conditions that can cause setbacks. I’ve dealt with it myself, including medications that caused me to gain weight. It was frustrating, but I never let it get me down because I wasn’t compounding the issue with what would have been poor health choices for my body. I think you’re smart to stand up for people facing that struggle, and I’m sorry if it felt like I was blowing them off.
I continue to disagree with you on the financial issues. I don’t believe everyone needs to buy organic foods and fancy gym plans. For me, it’s a mental commitment to do the best I can in any situation. If money is tight, maybe that means making the best of less than ideal food choices. Maybe it means taking walks or doing body weight exercises and getting up 20 minutes earlier than normal to make it happen. Healthy choices are free.
Sorry for the novel, but I love this discussion — and again, I’m so glad that you came here to put in your two cents.
“I continue to disagree with you on the financial issues. I don’t believe everyone needs to buy organic foods and fancy gym plans. For me, it’s a mental commitment to do the best I can in any situation. If money is tight, maybe that means making the best of less than ideal food choices. Maybe it means taking walks or doing body weight exercises and getting up 20 minutes earlier than normal to make it happen. Healthy choices are free.”
Gotta disagree- please see http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_desert
I apologize for the Wikipedia reference but I’m traveling and on my phone, but this will give you the gist of it. I think it’s easy for middle-class, white, hetero, able-bodied people (like myself) to say “It’s so easy!” because we will never understand what it’s like to see life through another lens, but it’s important to realize that what is as simple as a decision or paradigm shift for me or you is next to impossible for someone else. Just food for thought…
Hi Martha, and sorry for the delayed response…I’ve been traveling, and am catching up on comments now.
I’m ashamed to say I’ve never heard of the term “food deserts” before, and I appreciate you bringing it to my attention. I agree, and perhaps I wasn’t as clear as I should have been in the post, that not everyone has equal access to healthy food, resources, etc. The post is *not* aimed at them. I spend as much time as I can (and am planning to do more in the coming months) working with and for local food banks, and getting to meet the people — many times who are just like me — that benefit has certainly humbled me.
The post is about people who talk the talk but don’t even try to walk the walk. People that have access to food, resources and support and choose not to use it, but still run their mouths about wanting to change… “I’m just so busy. I hate waking up early. I can’t get motivated.”
I appreciate your point of view and agree that perhaps the tone of the post may have masked my message.
I am definitely sick of excuses from some people (especially when we are at a restaurant and they are complaining about their weight, but then ordering their third refill of Coke). I don’t make excuses, but I am also not overweight. I always choose walking over running, and NEVER pass up pizza (and I will have about 4 slices). I think that pizza gets a bad rap. For me, being healthy means not restricting, not overdoing it, and enjoying life.
From the wikipedia article on food deserts: “Prevalence of food deserts in poorer neighborhoods is driven by lack of consumer demand, as the poor have less money to spend on healthy, nutritious food. From an economic standpoint, low demand does not justify supply. Food retailers are also discouraged from opening chains in low-income rural and urban communities because of crime rates, transportation costs and low return of investment (Bitler & Haider, 2009).”
In other words, it’s cyclical: those neighborhoods don’t have good nutritious food because no one who lives there is buying it, for whatever reason.
First time here, but wanted to comment on your amazing post. I couldn’t agree more!
Thank you so much — I’m glad you found it!
Your post struck a nerve with me as well, but it’s a nerve that’s been striking with frequency for quite some time. I lost 30lbs recently, and was in a meeting at a coffee shop with some people who had not seen me in a while. One of the women in the meeting was easily 400lbs. She was quizzing me about “what I did” to lose weight. I was explaining that I had been working really hard in preparing for a huge endurance race, changing food habits, but being quick about my answers bc it was clear at the time, she didn’t care about my responses. With a full mouth of cake, she told me she wanted to run a half marathon in January. Her partner looked at her with surprise.
Now, this would have been great, had she been telling the truth. But she was not. I was so offended. More offended than I thought I could be, at the time. (I did not tell her this.) I was so offended that it was a bald faced lie; I was offended that she thought it was as easy as That, to just one up me, no consequence. To act as though what I was doing required no effort, no whole life change commitment, that it was entirely possible to be 400 lbs with a mouth of cake and then run 13m within two months. She was belittling me, the choices I’d made, and actively superimposing herself onto them. I felt so guilty and so offended and it was a defining moment for me. I won’t go back to wishing, to imagining and deluding myself that I was healthy. No. I would always continue to be. Honest with myself, choices and reason.
Whew.
Amy,
Thanks so much for your comment…you have come so far in your own journey, and I commend you for owning it! Congrats on all of your hard work, and keep inspiring people.