I LOVED my wedding. Truly, truly, I did. All of the stress melted away around lunchtime (after a few bridezilla moments in the morning) and I enjoyed everything from the moment I first saw Lucas:
to the moment I fell asleep, still covered in makeup with pins in my hair.
There was a lot I did right. We had a relatively small budget ($12,000) and a short guest list (90). We had no major, can’t-believe-this-happened-to-me moments. But in hindsight, six years later, there are a few things that I would do differently.
1. Splurge on the hairdresser and wear a veil.
I had huge plans for my hair — I’d say it was as important to me as the dress. So why, of all things to scrimp on, did I choose my stylist based on the awesome coupon I found for buy 3-get-1-free? It’s beyond me. Despite a lukewarm hair trial, I stuck with my plans and wound up with bridesmaids who hated their hair (the guy actually cut bangs for my poor maid of honor) and a ‘do that looked nothing like my dreams.
I’d brought in several inspiration photos, and the guy seemed confused at anything other than a standard curled hair look. Where I asked for body and a half-updo, I got poofy bangs (think Bumpit) and a twisted ponytail.
Because I thought my hair was going to be amazing, I opted for a small headpiece instead of a veil, and I really wish I had chosen the veil instead. My wedding had a quick, outdoor ceremony, and we went directly to the reception. I think the veil would have helped make the ceremony feel a little more special, and would have given me more looks for my photos.
2. Better plan the first look.
Lucas and I decided that we wanted to do all of the family photos before the ceremony, so we could go straight from the vows to the cocktails. A wise decision (that and the open bar may have been our best) but it meant that we would be seeing each other before I walked down the aisle.
The photographer hastily organized a sort-of “first look” but it was pretty unplanned, and I only have two or three photographs of what turned out to be the most breathtaking moment of the day for us both. I hadn’t expected to get so emotional — it was the only time I cried all day — and I think we could have made it more special by planning a more formal first look for the cameras.
3. Change into a reception dress.
I really did get my dream dress, after a lot of searching — and the shocker is that it only cost me $500! I had my heart set on a Maggie Sottero that was way out of my budget. My mom found an online store that sold knockoffs, using high quality material. I took a risk and ended up with an amazing garment that was even better than the real thing (I was able to customize some of the elements). But it was strapless, had a big, poofy bustle, and turned out to be quite heavy and difficult to dance in.
And dance, this bride did.
The bustle broke on the dress after just a few songs, and I found myself pretty uncomfortable…pulling up the bodice all night and pushing people off of the skirt. I wish that I had kept the formal dress on through dinner and toasts, and changed into something more party-friendly for the rest of the reception. Plus, it would have given me more looks for the photos!
4. Pick a different cake vendor.
We splurged on the cake, picking the hottest vendor in town. And yes, we enjoyed it.
But if we came close to a wedding day disaster, this was it. The cake was smaller than what we’d ordered, had the wrong color and design, and because it showed up two hours before it was scheduled, there was no room in the venue’s fridge and the frosting oozed and melted by the time it came to cut. It really bummed me out, especially because I’d spent a lot of money on it. (And neither Lucas nor I are even cake people!).
I wish I’d spent the money on the hairdresser, and opted for a grocery store cake (delicious) or something more creative like cupcakes or a candy bar.
5. Spend more time working out.
DON’T hate me. I’m not talking about starving myself to fit into my dress, or spending every waking moment in the gym to tone my arms. But back in my wedding planning days, I was working an overnight shift, buying a house and trying to organize all of the party details. I had good reasons for not making my health and fitness a bigger priority, but I wish I’d recognized them as excuses. I spent very little time in the gym and I put on about 8-10 pounds between my engagement and my wedding day.
I can see that I was not at my happiest weight for the wedding, and since these are the pictures that memorialized one of the most important days in my life, I wish I didn’t have the instinct to cringe when looking at some of them. My face is happy, and I felt beautiful…I just think that with a little more effort, I could have felt better in my own skin.
I love looking back on this amazing day, and I’d still give the entire event an A-/B+. Do you have any regrets/changes you’d make to your wedding?
About Katy
The only change I would have made was to have a photographer. We have a few Polaroids that have been scanned for posterity, but that is it. Silly us!
I would have not gotten as drunk as I did. I think I hid it well, but the next morning, I had a hangover from hell.
Also, I bought this really cute and fun guest book where the guest were supposed to draw stuff and I forgot to bring it. Two years later, I’m still mad about that.
I definitely wish we would have had a different photographer – and that I would have cared about photos more on that day. We just had a family friend do the photos, and basically she just took whatever I asked. We ended up with only a handful of really good ones. I thought at the time that it was awesome to have such a quick and fairly painless photo session, but looking back on it I wish we had more photos, and ones that looked fancy and professional.
Also, I wish we had done them before the ceremony. I was strongly against the whole “first look” idea then, but now I feel like logistically it would have worked out better and we would have had more good photos.
I really did love my wedding though. It was more fun and went smoother than I ever imagined!
I don’t remember you having any bridezilla moments, I thought you handled everything very calmly. I don’t think I would change much about our wedding, except the church part — I suspect the priest had dementia because he forgot half of the ceremony! That made me angry and I wish I hadn’t taken out my anger on my poor husband when he stepped on my dress. Thankfully he did not get upset with me and we’re still married 8 years later.
I would have had my wedding videotaped. I hated being recorded so didn’t want to have that happening, but now I wish I had it. My wedding was very small in my mom’ house and quite bittersweet since my dad died between the time I got engaged and the time we got married.
Oh – I’d have not let the dressmaker talk me into making some modernizing changes to my mom’s dress that I wore.
Not sure you should have changed a thing.They were just details.Could not tell you what your dress,hair or cake looked like.But I do remember the smile on your face! I remember everyone dancing and having a good time.I remember looking out on the dance floor and wondering who the young man was my daughter was dancing with-just turned out to be her future husband! I remember the father-daughter dance was so special, some you remember some you don’t, this one I remember. I also remember the look in my nephews eyes when he looked at his new bride, not sure any photographer could capture that, but if you were there you saw it and felt it. You must have done something right because I cried most of the day–and you know how I love to cry at weddings! XO A. Lorri
The look on the face of you two when you were presented to Luke (before the ceremony- for photos) was precious…..I don’t know if anyone could capture it fully in a picture but I wish it was….I will never forget that beautiful moment.
I was only 23 when I got married and I loved my day, however I don’t think that I really had my own ‘personal style’ yet. I went with a lot of suggestions from my family and friends because I didn’t have the confidence to pick something that was not so traditional. I think it was lack of maturity — at that time in my life the dress, my bridesmaids and the party were what was important! The other thing I really wish I had done was wax my brows LOL — I know it’s minor, but I didn’t wax them at the time and trust me, they needed it. When I look at the photos, that is what I cringe at
Your wedding was still gorgeous though and you can tell how happy you guys were.
I loved my wedding day, but if I could back in time, I would have picked a different hair stylist too (Mine made me cry!) And I also would called my groom before the ceremony. We didn’t talk to each other allllll day and it made me so sad we didn’t check in with each other to calm our nerves ahead of time. But it made the walk down the aisle so much more powerful and emotional. I was so happy to see him!
I would have spent more time finding a dress that was truly me. As it was, I had a dress made and I forced myself to like it, but I didn’t…and it was super uncomfortable. That’s the only thing I would change…
Well I have to start on the good things: I married the man of my dreams, my dress was beautiful and didn’t cost much, and we got an AMAZING cake from Wal-Mart. I was actually surprised at how amazing it was. The best cake I’ve ever had, and it was from Wal-Mart!! lol
But I wish we would have rehearsed. We had a rehearsal dinner, but everyone just ate. We couldn’t use the venue before the wedding and so no one had ANY idea as to what they were doing. It was so frustrating because I had typed up and printed out instructions, but I hadn’t made them clear enough so there was a lot of confusion. I also wish we would have invited more friends and less family
Just kidding, just more friends! Because the most people we ever had on our dance floor at one time was maybe six people including us. Ugh.
I guess I wish I did strength training back then. Because I was fat skinny for my wedding. Low weight, no muscle.
Other than that, I probably wouldn’t change anything. I mean, I would have gotten a photographer that actually took good pictures if I had known, but I didn’t have any control over the photographer because he came with the wedding package. So, out of 250 pictures taken, I liked about 15 of them. And that’s all the pictures I have of my wedding.
What was the name of the site you used to recreate a designer dress? Were you happy with the work or would you suggest splurging instead? There are so many sites out there that I don’t want to be scammed! Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated. Great post!
Mila — I’ll try and dig it up…it was almost seven years ago, so I’m not even sure it exists. But I’ll try!
I was very happy with the work, but probably got lucky. It was a $500 gamble, because there was no return policy. The key was that I had already picked out the designer gown I wanted, so it wasn’t just randomly picking from pictures on a website. I tried the gown on at a designer in town, and knew how it fit.
We’ve been married almost six months and the only thing I would have changed so far (and I knew it the day after the wedding!) was that I wish we had splurged for a videographer. My photos are AMAZING but there are so many moments like my man of honor’s toast, our first dance, and my dance with my dad who passed away two months afterward…those are the things I wish could have been captured on video.
Its a great post about how to arrange a happy wedding party. Also the photographs of your wedding party are so cool and your wedding dress, Its really awesome!!!!
Katy,
You are too funny. I’ve never heard someone give their wedding a letter grade before! ha! BTW, you were a beautiful bride, and are a beautiful mommy to be. Congrats! We had super low budget for our wedding (about half yours). The one thing I would change would be to have a professional photographer. We lucked out with some nice shots. But, I think there could have been some stellar ones.
i wish i had looked at different dresses – i had a specific style (like you) in mind but more than one layer of dress in early September in DC…was less than comfortable and had me sneaking off into the hall to fan myself down.
I wish i had spent a little bit more money on flowers or done DIY centerpieces – the centerpieces were awful and not at all what i wanted.
Also, I wish I had been in better shape, though I was running (half assedly) through the spring, after my marathon in May of that year I stopped working out. What was supposed to be the happiest time of my life was super stressful since i got laid off in march, and then my husband (then fiance) lost his job in July just after we sent our invitations out.
But alas, hindsight is always 20/20 and what matters most is we got married, we had a beautiful wedding and our friends all had a great time at the amazing reception we had. The details that weren’t what I wanted can be nitpicked all day but the parts that really matter were amazing
Katy, thanks for sharing. As someone who is soon to be wedding planning, it’s interesting to hear what others think about what they enjoyed or didn’t about their own. We will definitely be working with a budget, but still want a nice wedding.
Katy, you are so hilarious. I bet you have a great sense of humor. By the way, congratulations on your wedding.
I wish we would have had a smaller ceremony. It was a huge, traditional event and I think smaller and intimate is better. Also, I would have loved more natural photography. Not so posed and planned. Still love the memories, but little “tweaks” would be made if I did it again!
wish i had these tips before my wedding as i am SO WITH YOU on the hair. and i don’t really even care about hair but mine was really not done and really not done does not go with a fancy dress. love seeing the pics of your big day though.
We had a SUPER TIGHT BUDGET! Ours was about $ 2,500 and we spent every penny. And day was PERFECT! I got very lucky with a lot of items. My cake, for instance was a gift from my parents. An expense I was nervous about paying for. But, they wanted to buy it for us. Another thing, I didn’t have to worry about was my hair. My Aunt, in place of a gift, payed for my hair style. Another thing I didn’t have to worry about was my food! My new in-laws don’t have a lot of money either, so we paid for our food, and they made it. Lucky for me they cater on the side! We just had to tell them what we wanted. My dress was on EBay for $689.00. It was a Maggie Sorroto, (according to the certificate).
We paid for our photographer, flowers, the donation to the church, our pianist, our reception hall and for 4 people to serve the food. I had been picking up decorations for our wedding, for the last 3 years before the wedding, because fall is the easiest time of year. Stuff would go on sale, and if there were more than one of an item, I bought it. By the time my wedding came around, I think maybe all total, spent $150-200 on decorations, tablecloths included.
Hey Katy!
Would you share the name of the dress shop? I’m on a tight budget looking for discount dresses..
Finn,
I would if it still existed — but the website seems to have been taken down…it’s been more than six years, so I guess it’s expected
Best of luck!