Call it nesting. Call it being done with people and things that waste my time. Call it growing as a person.
But as the Summer of No becomes the Fall of No Way, I’m finding that time after time, removing negatives from my life allows me to feel more positive.
Hypnobabies is big on a “Bubble of Peace” in which no negativity or stress is allowed. And I guess that’s what I’m doing. Closing my inner circle to only allow experiences that help me succeed in business and in life — but it’s harder than it sounds.
Case in point: I have been working with someone on a personal project for more than a year. He’s a great guy with a lot of passion but not much time, and what little of that he has, he’s given to me without much in return. Recently, he and I started to have some communications problems (I’m not talking out of turn — he would tell you the same thing!) as our schedules got more fragmented, the project got bigger and bigger and his own professional needs changed.
We danced around each other for weeks, neither wanting to say what needed to be said…
It was time to break up.
Now that we have — amicably and professionally — I feel a major sense of relief. Disappointment, too, as the change means that my little passion project undergoes some major technical changes. But I’ve been spending a lot of my time and energy trying to chase down problems, fix issues, get responses, etc., always ending with the same result: STRESS.
The break-up is best for both of us. And once we got it out in the open, we each shared the ways that the project has not been working…and that was cathartic. We laughed, we wished each other the best in the future, and then we moved on.
Why do I share this? Because it was freeing to me that — just like with romantic relationships and friendships — sometimes the hardest choice is the best one. Walking away from a person or project that isn’t fulfilling you is often harder than staying, but it frees up your mind and energy to take on bigger and better commitments.
About Katy
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.
OK, this one is so true…and you are so brave to practice what is preached…TOWANDA!!!
“Bubble of Peace” has got to be the most genius phrase I’ve heard in months. I’ve been reducing distractions as professional and personal interests evolve, and this new phrase will help me take it to the next level. Precisely what I need.
So true! Good for both of you to have the courage to discuss and take action even if it meant “breaking up” and to do so amicably speaks volumes!
Nice job on having the confidence to know you needed the “break-up”. Life is too short to stay in situations we’re not happy in! Congrats!
Katy – I can’t agree more! I’ve had that problem with friendships that turned out to only be a facade of a friendship. Sometimes things that were once good, become somewhat toxic, and you have to cleanse your life of anything like that so you can be happy and be a more productive person. Saying no, like you, has changed my life, for the better. Good luck with your project – whatever direction you take it!
I’ve been dragging my feet on doing this. I’m starring this in my Google Reader as it’s going to serve as inspiration in the near future. It’s already served as a kick in the pants. Thanks lady.
Oh the Google Reader!! Yes, this was the first place I had to start reducing my digital clutter as well. I did it a few months ago, and it has freed up so much energy. You’ll be glad you did it.
Totally relate to this! I’ve actually fired some PT clients because they weren’t making time outside of our sessions to workout. If you aren’t ready to change, then I cannot help you. I’m in the process of dropping classes to better suit ME and my schedule too. Learning to say NO is tough, but when you do the sense of relief is HUGE!
I’m totally like you and have a hard time with “breaking up”