I’ve never been great at living in the moment. It’s one of the main reasons that I love/hate yoga. It forces me to center my thoughts, to focus on where I am second-by-second and to be OK with not only where I am, but who I am.
The holidays bring out some of my worst anxiety, and couple that with being a new mom, my thoughts read something like this:
I can’t wait for Christmas! / Oh gosh, is it Christmas again already?
2013 is almost here and that means a fresh start / If 2012 is almost over, that means I am running out of time to meet all of my goals for the year
Look at her hold her head up and play with toys! / She was a newborn for such a short time — the next thing I know, she’ll be driving!
January means it’s time to go back to work and it will be really nice to get back to some of my projects / January means it’s time to go back to work and leave my tiny angel with strangers for most of the day
Already, my red-faced newborn has been replaced by a funny, gurgling little girl. Already, the best year of my life is giving way to a blank calendar. Already, I’m going from my late 20s to my mid-30s. Already, I’m going from newlywed to the so-called 7-year itch (no itch here, but April will be the big milestone!).
I’m doing my very best to remember to appreciate each moment for what it is, instead of lamenting the passage of time or worrying about what the future holds. I can’t slow it down, as much as I would like to, and I know that if I spend those moments in sadness, I won’t experience the joy.
And I’d rather have fleeting happiness, moment after moment, than constant regret for what is passing by.