“Do you want a fixer, or do you want a friend?”
So much of my identity has always been wrapped up in what I DO. I solve tech and marketing problems. I figure out why something is broken and I repair it. The website is down? The email is sending at the wrong time? Someone got a text they shouldn’t have?
Katy to the rescue!
And not just at work, but in relationships, too.
Here’s the thing. It led me to severe burnout. And just as bad, it made it so that people I loved and who loved me, didn’t always feel safe telling me what they were going through.
My instincts have *always* been to look through the evidence, find the truths (and the flaws) and then save the day. But that’s not always the heroic or helpful thing to do.
Therapy helped me to understand this. And then candid conversations with my friends and family helped me find a new way to actually be of service.
I ask: “do you want a friend, or do you want a fixer.”
As a friend, I listen as you vent. I nod, and hug, and sympathize and soothe (or smash things).
As a fixer, I try to find the path through. I unburden you from the stress or the frustration and help you get to the best outcome.
And when I know which role I’m expected to play, everything is better and everyone is happier.
If you’re a fellow Type A, perfection-seeking, processor, Enneagram 1, high performer with anxiety…
…try this out!